Assault Family VIolence: 2 Big Considerations Which Affect Many

In my 30 years of practice, I have come to realize men raised without sisters often have an unrealistic view of girls/women. Men who grew up with sisters realize girls are not china dolls. Girls can punch, pull, kick, slap and be the aggressor. I know this is a wake up call for many men; but they must realize violence is never the answer for either side. The best thing to do when a woman/girl starts to get violent is to leave. Just as important is pulling out the cell phone and doing an audio or video tape to document proof of exactlly what is going on (many police automaticallly assume the man is guilty). For some, having someone arrested without cause is a form of control. Any person capable of this is not deserving of a second chance (liberty is on the line). The most important thing to do is to breathe, step back and rationally assess the situation. Whether my clients are guilty or innocent, I have them do an anger management class which helps make good decisions in the heat of the moment (most of the time the best decision is to leave). The class also helps in how we resolve the case. Another big issue I come across in family violence cases is growing up with parents in a long term marriage. These clients often have profound pressure in living up to this classic example. Just because your parents were happilly married and formed the traditional family unit, this does not mean you are failing when you are not following the same role model. It is far more important to be free and not imprisoned. Divorce is the only answer if the alternative is violence and incarceration. Stop feeling guilty or believing you have failed your children. You cannot provide for your children imprisoned. Children are very resilient. Children are better off with two nonviolent, caring parents. Care enough for them to make the right decisions.

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